Eros love is that passionate love most people identify with when they utter, “I love you,” where one implies romance and sexual attraction. Today is St. Valentine’s Day in which one celebrates romantic or eros love with his or her partner through the exchange of chocolates, flowers, cards and other amorous gifts. Children traditionally exchange cute Valentine’s Day cards and penny candy, too, to express friendship and fondness for each other. Eros is the name of the Greek god of love (in ancient Rome the god of love was Cupid, who is the modern day mascot of St. Valentine’s Day).
Eros love is that stage of love where one’s heart goes all a flutter. A person, who is in this state of love, can hardly think of anything or anyone else except that other person being showered with these affections, attentions and desires. It is quite an intoxicating state in which to be where one temporarily loses grounding of his or herself. Many have described eros love as being “in-love”, where one feels like he or she is floating in the air like a balloon, weightless and carefree.
At some point, if there is no other love to ground the relationship such as philias love and agape love, the relationship is potentially doomed for failure once the novelty of it fades. How does one make the transition from eros love to a love that can stand the test of time? Consider who you are as a person. Do you love yourself and who you are? Do you love how you interact with your love interest in relation to your world? Do you have some common interests and values to ground your relationship? Do you know how to listen and truly communicate with each other?
Affirmative answers to all these questions are key take a relationship from eros love to other more profound forms of love that will sustain the relationship over time and experiences. Of all these, the most important part of being in any interpersonal relationship, romantic or otherwise, is to be in-love with yourself first. Love yourself as others would love you. Not in a narcissistic way, but in the form of self-care and self-nurturing. Be your own best friend and lover.