a tickle of words to create smiles

Archive for February, 2012


How does one define authenticity? Authenticity is the state of being real, truthful, genuine and/or sincere. One of the hardest things to do is to be authentic when you do not know who you are. Defining yourself and your purpose builds confidence and authenticity; furthermore, with authenticity, you build relationships based on love and trust.

That is great if you know who you are; but, suppose you are not clear on your purpose and/or who you truly are? A good place to start is to place yourself in front of a mirror and state your name, “I am…[insert your name]” Then follow this up with all those positive affirmations that you know are true about yourself, “I am smart; I am open to new ideas; I am a good listener; I am a good friend; I am a great parent; I am wonderful spouse; I am…” Allow the list to go on and on.

Then write these positive affirmations down on notes you can stick all over the place to remind you of exactly all the wonderful things you are. Also, consider all the activities and events that bring you joy. Write these down in a notebook or journal, along with all the positive affirmations. Reflect on these, as these begin to define who you are authentically.

Guess what? You are what you think you are. You become your words and your thoughts. Also, you get to choose those words and thoughts every single day and every single moment of your life. There are many methods to help people clarify who they are and their purpose. A phenomenal way to gain clarity is through life coaching and/or mental health counseling. Now, consider the following, are you being true to yourself and others? What are you thinking right now? Are they positive thoughts?  Remember, thoughts become reality.


Transparency is a word that recently has been used more and more to describe openness, particularly when it comes to people, organizations and ideal governments. Transparency is being translucent/clear, open and honest with yourself and your intentions.  There is no hidden agenda to be found. Everything is clear and honest. All actions and words are genuine and sincere. There is no ambiguity. When people are transparent, then trust and love can develop. Through transparency, ideal communities can be created.

These transparent communities of people with clear missions and openness are the ones that will wonderfully produce positive changes in the world such as world peace, love and abundance with one specific mission at a time. These specific missions can take on many forms, such as, creating a community garden to fill the nutritional needs of the community, producing an exchange site where a community can trade goods among themselves they no longer need or want for things they can use, or creating learning centers where people can exchange ideas in their immediate community.

Eventually, these ideas, as they are met with success, will be used in other communities. Success in one community will fuel successes in other communities as long as the intentions of the communities stay transparent and pure. This, in turn, would lead to world-wide peace, love and abundance. There are so many possibilities where very little resources and/or monies need to be used. All these possibilities simply start with transparent intentions from an individual who then gain the trust of others with similar ideals. Consider transparency; what does it look like for you and your community?


Transitions are those times in people’s lives when change occurs. A person moves from one time or event in his or her life to another. It can be a physical or spiritual change. Smooth and gradual transitions are easiest to a person’s being. Transitions are neutral in the sense that one can transition from a joyful existence to a negative one just as easily as one can transition from an existence of negative energy to one that is positive and joyful. In a sense, each person is in a form of transition as each person is physically aging from one moment to the next.

Besides aging, many also have emotional, spiritual and/or career transitions. How one chooses to feel during this transition is entirely up to that person. Transitions can be difficult if a person holds onto the past, whether it is regret or a longing to be who he or she once was. Letting go of the past is will ease the transition. Another harmonious way to handle a transition is to be completely present in the moment. What are you experiencing or feeling, right now? You can choose to see each present moment as a blessing and a gift.

Consider all those things that bring you joy or activities you would like to try. Do not hold back, indulge in those activities that you bring you joy or you believe you will bring you delight. These events in your life will ease all the hard transitions you are making in your life. Remember, each of us are in some form of transition. Everyone is in the flow of experiences. Embrace your transitions and let go of any negative feelings that seem attached to it.

The unknown factor, when one is in transition is the scariest. Fear arises when a person does not know who he or she will become or how he or she will end up. Consider this, you are in control of your feelings and you get to choose how to react or respond to each and every thing that is presented to you. How do you feel at this very moment?

What would you like your future to look like? It is good for a person to have a vision of what he or she would like to become. This will help a person create goals and strategies to get there; however, it is best to be open to all experiences as often life may give a person shortcut or an opportunity. So, let go of any limiting beliefs and keep your sights wide.

Another idea, is to be the person you want to become (mentally). If that person is a successful writer or artist, then take on that persona. There are many ways to get from here to there. There is no one correct path when a person is in transition. 

Also, consider your community, with whom do you spend time? Is the influence of your community aligned with your beliefs and values? What kind of connections have you made with others? How can they help you during your transition? What is your level of enthusiasm and zest for life? Are you in balance? What do you have right now that you are most grateful? Consider every aspect of your life and visualize everything in it that has been a blessing. Is there a way to build upon the blessings in your life to ease the transition in you are experiencing? Most of all, embrace your transitions. Transitions are a part of everyone’s life.

Community (Feb. 17 Post)

Community is a term often thrown around these days to define so many things, but what does the term community truly convey especially to you? Geographically, most live in a community, which stems from the biological definition of community: a group of interacting organisms sharing an environment. In an educational setting you have learning communities, where groups of students are learning together. Sometimes you can have learning communities in work environments, where companies, institutions and organizations have programs in place where their employees can continue their education.  

A community may also refer to groups that share common values or interests; furthermore, these groups get together in a regular basis to interact for a common cause or to socialize or both. These are the types of community that can make the most powerful impact on our world either in a positive or negative way. It is best that we join together in a community to promote a positive change such as promoting recycling in our neighborhoods or feeding the hungry. One can be in multiple communities like a church, a social service club or organization, a book club, an art league and on-line social networks, such as Facebook or Twitter (or both).  

Using our positive influences in our communities we can sway our group to do great things. It is with positive intentions, common beliefs and shared resources that communities can do wonderful deeds to promote a more caring and loving world. With the birth and development of the internet, communities can span huge geographical areas reaching all over the globe. This is often called the GLOBAL COMMUNITY.

Virtual communities can greatly influence the dynamics of our world and have the potential to do many wonderful deeds to promote a more loving and caring world through  global awareness, intent and action. The world is indeed getting smaller in the way people can influence each other through all the communities we are involved. The question is, how involved are you? Consider the following, how involved would you like to be? The choice is entirely up to you. You can become part of the solution simply by showing up in your community. 

Inner Peace (for Feb. 16)

What is inner peace? You are invited to take a deep breath through your nose (if you are not congested) and release it in a deep sigh through your mouth. Do this at least three times and as you exhale, let go of all negative thoughts, concerns and worries. If you are really tense, gently roll your head by dropping your chin down and move your head toward your right ear, continue to roll it slowly as if you are looking upwards, then roll it towards your left ear back to your dropped chin position. Then go in the opposite direction, slowly toward your left ear and around to the right ear and back to the dropped chin position. Now, try the breathing activity again. These exercises should help you to relax and give you a sense of inner peace.

People experience inner peace when they are in balance. Inner peace is a person’s mental and spiritual well-being that is rooted in one’s essence and being. It is a sense of tranquility and satisfaction one feels especially when he or she is in balance. How does one achieve balance?

That is a question that you need to ask yourself. How about doing this backwards, what makes you feel imbalanced and puts you in a state of frenzy, agitation, angst or chaos? A surprise visit from your mother-in-law? Probably anything that is not part of your regularly scheduled program, right? What would set it right again for you?

Can you re-frame your situation so that you are at peace again? Mentally shifting your perspective can give you inner peace. You can work through most challenges inside out by shifting your beliefs around the problem. If that traffic jam causes you to be late to an important meeting, will worry and angst change the situation? What is the positive in this given situation? Does the traffic jam give you time to reflect before your important meeting? Can you actually enjoy that hot beverage you brought with you? How can you make the most of your present moment?

Most of the time the best thing to do is to look at your present situation from a different perspective when things are off-schedule, because hardly anything ever goes as planned. Everything is usually in entropy (going from order to disorder in a closed system). Can you use the present, unplanned moment as a way to make the situation better? Is there a creative, a-ha moment in it? Inner peace is about shifting your perspective and being flexible, which will allow your mental and spiritual being relax in the present moment. All we  have at any given  period of time is now. How you use your present moment will affect your inner peace. You have the power on how you wish to use your present moment. Do you wish to feel inner peace or invite unproductive worry? The choice is up to you. Isn’t that empowering to know?



Holiday! What does this really mean? Broken into its two components there is HOLY and DAY, a holy day. For most a holiday surrounds a religious event like the birth of Jesus Christ with Christmas. According to Wikipedia, a Holiday is a day designated as having special significance for which individuals, a government, or a religious group have deemed that observance is warranted. It is generally an official (more common) or unofficial observance of religious, national, or cultural significance, often accompanied by celebrations or festivities. A holiday does not necessarily exclude doing normal work: the relatively minor Jewish holiday of Chanukah has been described as a “working holiday” and those who celebrate a holiday such as Diwali may have to work a normal schedule in countries where it is not a public holiday.

One can take a holiday or go on a holiday, which means taking time to go on vacation or a breakaway from one’s regular work or school schedule. Some holidays, like Christmas, coincide with vacation time like the winter break for schools and universities in the Northern Hemisphere. Thanksgiving is a holiday observed in the United States where most are off from their regularly schedule on the fourth Thursday in the month of November and that Friday following it so it creates a four-day holiday weekend for many.

Yesterday was a “holiday”… St. Valentine’s Day. How many really celebrated it? How did you celebrate it? Would it not be nice to have your own personal holiday? What would that look like? It could be a day devoted  entirely to one’s personal needs and wants. Take a moment and close your eyes; think about all your own personal needs and wants. What do they look, sound, taste, smell and feel like?

For many it could be taking an extra long shower or bubble bath using the most fragrant soaps he or she has. It could be indulging in one’s favorite meal or dessert. It could be taking time to do some arts and crafts, playing a musical instrument, singing or dancing. It can be relaxing in your favorite space, reading that novel you have put aside for summer reading. Why not pretend to have summer day right now, in this very moment. Who says you cannot experience your own personal holiday right at this moment. Take an hour or take a few minutes, and spend that time totally on yourself engaged in an activity, which totally delights every part of you. Consider having a holiday, everyday, even if it is just for a few moments to celebrate  yourself. 

Eros Love


Eros love is that passionate love most people identify with when they utter, “I love you,” where one implies romance and sexual attraction. Today is St. Valentine’s Day in which one celebrates romantic or eros love with his or her partner through the exchange of chocolates, flowers, cards and other amorous gifts. Children traditionally exchange cute Valentine’s Day cards and penny candy, too, to express friendship and fondness for each other. Eros is the name of the Greek god of love (in ancient Rome the god of love was Cupid, who is the modern day mascot of St. Valentine’s Day).

Eros love is that stage of love where one’s heart goes all a flutter. A person, who is in this state of love, can hardly think of anything or anyone else except that other person being showered with these affections, attentions and desires. It is quite an intoxicating state in which to be where one temporarily loses grounding of his or herself. Many have described eros love as being “in-love”, where one feels like he or she is floating in the air like a balloon, weightless and carefree.

At some point, if there is no other love to ground the relationship such as philias love and agape love, the relationship is potentially doomed for failure once the novelty of it fades. How does one make the transition from eros love to a love that can stand the test of time? Consider who you are as a person. Do you love yourself and who you are? Do you love how you interact with your love interest in relation to your world? Do you have some common interests and values to ground your relationship? Do you know how to listen and truly communicate with each other?

Affirmative answers to all these questions are key take a relationship from eros love to other more profound forms of love that will sustain the relationship over time and experiences. Of all these, the most important part of being in any interpersonal relationship, romantic or otherwise, is to be in-love with yourself first. Love yourself as others would love you. Not in a narcissistic way, but in the form of self-care and self-nurturing. Be your own best friend and lover.

Philia Love


Love comes in many forms as Agape is unconditional love in the Greek language; the love of friends, brothers, and sisters is a type of non-sexual affection the Greeks have designated as Philia or Phileo. Most people know of the city of Philadelphia; however, some do not know that Philadelphia is a compound Greek word: Philos, which means loving and Adelphos, which means brother. This is why Philadelphia is also known as the city of brotherly love. (This should not come as a surprise to most as U.S. Government is based on Ancient Greek politics; Democracy has its formal origins in Ancient Greece.)

The affection and love people feel towards their friends and family is Philia love. Philia love is what most people crave from each other; it is that wish to be accepted, connected and loved by their peers. Philia love is similar to Agape love, but Philia love is not necessarily unconditional love nor is it spiritual love. It is love of family and friends because of connectivity and like interests. Philia love is that mutual love that bounds friends and family. Agape love is a pure love where that person does not need to be loved in return. It should also be mentioned that there is also Storge love which is similar to both Philia love and Agape love. Storge love is that bond between mother and child, which bounds them together.

Philia is great place to be in when moving toward Agape love. People who are capable of loving people because they have like interests as a connection can begin to love people with whom they are not connected simply by becoming aware that each person has value and need not be judged. People who are open to different ways of thinking and different cultures will be able to expand his or her Philia love to a wider community of people and eventually to the global community. It is global acceptance of people, which will lead to Agape love. People who can consider being open to Philia love to others outside their circle of friends will find their lives profoundly enriched by indescribable experiences. 

Agape Love

In the Greek language there are 3 types of love: agape, philia, and eros. Agape, which is an unconditional love that most people strive to express to their loved ones but always fall short because we have not truly experienced it directly except through our own beliefs in God, the Creator. Unconditional love or agape love has been explained as that paternal love of God for humans. It is that divine, self-sacrificing, active, volitional and thoughtful love, which has been expressed by Jesus and God in the Bible of the Christian faith; as well as other prophets in other religious content.

Agape love is quite spiritual in nature as it is a type of love that originates from one’s soul. It is a feeling that looks beyond all faults and failings even if it is criminal or perverse.  It is truly very difficult if not impossible to truly express agape love to everyone. People tend to be judgmental especially when it comes to violence and perversion as one does not want to condone or approve of such negative activities. It is impossible to look beyond criminal and negative activities and still continue to love those who acted with criminal intentions. Nonetheless, agape love needs to be considered if people are ever to experience worldwide peace. Yes, it will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy; but, consider the joy that will be felt by all when agape love is experienced and expressed by everyone.


What is clarity? Freedom from ambiguity and indistinctness and the state of being clear, transparent or open define clarity. Clarity is a state of certainty and purity most people seek when defining themselves, their purpose and their intentions. When one’s intentions are pure and open then one can manifest his or her desires.

Clear thought, pure intentions and defined dreams are needed in order for manifestation to happen. Trust is built when people state exactly what they want and they are sincere and open with their  intentions. Amicable interpersonal relationships are created. One is compelled to support someone he or she can trust. This support may come in many forms: love, compassion, social or financial.

Think of one’s intentions as being a door, if the door is closed or ambiguous how does one invite support. It is only when one’s door is open and distinct that he or she can welcome support. People cannot support another if his or her door is closed, ambiguous or undefined, can they? At best there will be a sense of suspicion. When one has clarity in his or her purpose, dreams and intentions, then others can support his or her dreams and desires. Consider clarity when defining yourself, your purpose and your intentions and see what manifests. 

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