a tickle of words to create smiles

Not My Issue!

AKO-NotMyIssueYesterday I was informed that “truly loving other people means understanding who they are and treating them the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you think they should be treated.” Then, I was given no opportunity to respond, which initially stung my heart, but I now choose not to take no ownership of that person’s feelings. Those thoughts, feelings and actions belong only to those who generated them in the first place. They do not belong to me; furthermore, I hold no ill-will against this person, who needs more compassion than he or she will ever understand at this point from anyone willing to give it.

I am going to chew on this statement and digest it a bit, “Truly loving other people means understanding who they are and treating them the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you think they should be treated.” I do not agree with this statement, as I believe that people should be treated as you wish to be treated (not THEY).

I cannot presume how another wants to be treated. I do not read minds, especially with online communications. At least face-to-face, you can read another’s expression; and, over the phone you can hear inflections in their voices. How am I suppose to know how anyone wants to be treated unless one directly tells me? Which brings up a very good point, tell people how you wish to be treated. Never assume they know.

Unfailingly, I follow the Golden Rule. I treat others how I wish to be treated. In fact, I try to take it a step further and follow in the footsteps of my Lord, Jesus Christ, and be love and compassion for others. I take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. Those are the only things that belong to me. How others wish to feel, act or react is their own business. I can only be loving, kind and compassionate for others. That is how I would wish to be treated… with love, kindness and compassion.

When someone shares or vents online about an issue in their life, it is usually a call for attention and help. If they did not want compassion, then why air your laundry. When I was feeling grievous this weekend, I wrote about it and reached out to friends both offline and online.

In return, I got love and compassion, which I openly received from many people including some people I have never met. My heart was filled with everyone’s love; and, I am deeply grateful. My wish is to be there for others. To be love and express kindness and compassion to everyone, whether they want it or not. That is their business and their issue. I can only do my part to be a source of comfort and what I believe a friend is.

I make no apologies for being a loving, kind and compassionate person. I wish only to understand and be respectful. I do not have to agree with you. I only need to love and respect you. Comments and feedback are appreciated.

 

 

 

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Comments on: "Not My Issue!" (9)

  1. This speaks such truth. You have to stay true to your own heart and love in the only way you know how. There is no way you can know someone well enough to ever treat them the way THEY want to be treated.

  2. Hi there! I don’t think we know each other, but either we share a connection or the WordPress Monkeys think we’re kindred spirits, because I got a pingback from this post. I’m so glad I did! What a great topic to spend time on.

    “I am going to chew on this statement and digest it a bit, ‘Truly loving other people means understanding who they are and treating them the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you think they should be treated.”

    I’ve been chewing on this, too. But I keep coming back to a couple of thoughts, which I share because you seem to be inviting earnest conversation.

    My first thought is: Is there some kind of “truly” loving standard, above and beyond the loving-thy-neighbor-as-thyself-as-commanded standard? Even 1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t include an “anticipate how THEY want to be treated” clause. I’m not cherry-picking — 1 Cor. 13 isn’t the only passage about loving others, but it’s a good one, and so it’s an easy reference to make.

    My second thought is that one could even argue that a person who is expecting or requesting (or perhaps that person was demanding?) that level of being “truly loving” from you is a bit selfish. The Golden Rule (and 1 Cor. 13, and others) are not rules to beat other people up with. These are standards that we, as believers, should be constantly applying to ourselves. Which you have clearly done.

    And that’s why I’m so encouraged by your experience: You were stung by someone’s words, and you checked yourself, and you wrote this post to stand your ground. A very thoughtful, heartfelt post that I thank you for sharing. (And thank you, WordPress Monkeys for bringing me here!) Very nice to meet you, and I look forward to reading more!

    • Thank you for your profound thoughts! Yes indeed, the WordPress monkeys worked their magic as they recommended your blog to include in my related articles for which I am deeply grateful. Yes, I needed a bit of validation and other perspectives, therefore, I opened the floor and invited comments.

      I am delighted you shared your thoughts with me and deepened my understanding of the Bible. 1 Corinthians is one of my favorite chapters that I need to revisit more. Thank you so much for pointing me in the right direction. I look forward to further correspondences with you. With love, joy and gratitude, Angi

  3. WOW, Such deep philosophy. You have obviously given this a lot of thought. You should get lots of agreement on this because treating others as you yourself would feel good about is all you can do unless the other person lets you know that your treatment “rubs him or her the wrong way”. Only then can you modify your stance (unless doing so undercuts your values). In that case, it is time to agree to disagree and stay neutral i.e. not defensive or offensive. Thank you again for your monumental effort to research and post your always positive blog.

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