Eros love is that passionate love most people identify with when they utter, “I love you,” where one implies romance and sexual attraction. Today is St. Valentine’s Day in which one celebrates romantic or eros love with his or her partner through the exchange of chocolates, flowers, cards and other amorous gifts. Children traditionally exchange cute Valentine’s Day cards and penny candy, too, to express friendship and fondness for each other. Eros is the name of the Greek god of love (in ancient Rome the god of love was Cupid, who is the modern day mascot of St. Valentine’s Day).
Eros love is that stage of love where one’s heart goes all a flutter. A person, who is in this state of love, can hardly think of anything or anyone else except that other person being showered with these affections, attentions and desires. It is quite an intoxicating state in which to be where one temporarily loses grounding of his or herself. Many have described eros love as being “in-love”, where one feels like he or she is floating in the air like a balloon, weightless and carefree.
At some point, if there is no other love to ground the relationship such as philias love and agape love, the relationship is potentially doomed for failure once the novelty of it fades. How does one make the transition from eros love to a love that can stand the test of time? Consider who you are as a person. Do you love yourself and who you are? Do you love how you interact with your love interest in relation to your world? Do you have some common interests and values to ground your relationship? Do you know how to listen and truly communicate with each other?
Affirmative answers to all these questions are key take a relationship from eros love to other more profound forms of love that will sustain the relationship over time and experiences. Of all these, the most important part of being in any interpersonal relationship, romantic or otherwise, is to be in-love with yourself first. Love yourself as others would love you. Not in a narcissistic way, but in the form of self-care and self-nurturing. Be your own best friend and lover.
Love comes in many forms as Agape is unconditional love in the Greek language; the love of friends, brothers, and sisters is a type of non-sexual affection the Greeks have designated as Philia or Phileo. Most people know of the city of Philadelphia; however, some do not know that Philadelphia is a compound Greek word: Philos, which means loving and Adelphos, which means brother. This is why Philadelphia is also known as the city of brotherly love. (This should not come as a surprise to most as U.S. Government is based on Ancient Greek politics; Democracy has its formal origins in Ancient Greece.)
The affection and love people feel towards their friends and family is Philia love. Philia love is what most people crave from each other; it is that wish to be accepted, connected and loved by their peers. Philia love is similar to Agape love, but Philia love is not necessarily unconditional love nor is it spiritual love. It is love of family and friends because of connectivity and like interests. Philia love is that mutual love that bounds friends and family. Agape love is a pure love where that person does not need to be loved in return. It should also be mentioned that there is also Storge love which is similar to both Philia love and Agape love. Storge love is that bond between mother and child, which bounds them together.
Philia is great place to be in when moving toward Agape love. People who are capable of loving people because they have like interests as a connection can begin to love people with whom they are not connected simply by becoming aware that each person has value and need not be judged. People who are open to different ways of thinking and different cultures will be able to expand his or her Philia love to a wider community of people and eventually to the global community. It is global acceptance of people, which will lead to Agape love. People who can consider being open to Philia love to others outside their circle of friends will find their lives profoundly enriched by indescribable experiences.
- Is this what agape feels like? (gypsyroxylee.wordpress.com)
- Agape Love (akissofbliss.wordpress.com)
- Ancient Greek conceptions of love (closeenoughtoread.wordpress.com)
- Love is a Verb (dadsjourneyoffaith.com)
- Love as an Action Verb (brokenbelievers.com)