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Posts tagged ‘Balance’

Make Time…for YOU!

AKO-MakeTimeForYou

Make time for those things you truly want to do. Worry not. The things that need your attention, will get it, but with more joy! The key is to schedule your time with balance in mind. I have found this to work really well for me! I find that I am getting so much more done because I am able to put forth more enthusiasm and energy to all my tasks because I scheduled in some “fun”.

I know during this time of year is a season of preparations, parties, shopping, decorating and loads of busyness. It does not have to take the wind out of your sails if you take the time to take a breather or two daily. And, yes, life happens when you make plans.

So, keep it flexible. You already know what you need to do. Just include an activity or two that will give you a spark. For me it is creating art to music. One song takes 5 minutes maximum. With a bit of set-up and clean-up, it is a total of ten minutes; and, wow, I am ready to do the next “need-to” task. What activities can you “squeeze-in” that will make you blissful? Balance is the solution!

ConTroll

CON-TROLL, each of us have dealt with it. Don’t let IT get the best of  you.

He who angers you, controls you! In fact, anyone that you allow to evoke an emotional response from you, controls you! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you intellectually know this, but emotionally you are in a stir. And, you want to know how to disengage the negative emotions. How can you address or prevent others from upsetting your balance and evoking the negative energy in you? Great question.

First, you can consider the source. Seriously look at the person who is basically talking at you because he or she are not respecting you enough to engage in a conversation. They are either looking for a reaction, or, they are passing the buck. They are venting on you, all the pent-up negative energy they had absorbed from their experiences throughout the day or longer. Who are you allowing to anger you or trigger an emotional reaction or response from you? Who is this person, really? Is that person a supervisor, a peer, a co-worker, a family member or a friend? When possible, write down absolutely everything that this person has done to upset you on a scrap piece of paper. And then release that energy by setting that scrap paper aside for at least an hour. 

Second, consider the relationship you have with this person. This is the transformational part of handling the negative emotions to create the shift of control back into your hands. How much time and/or feelings have you invested with the person who is upsetting your balance? What is your vested interest in the relationship? What is it worth to you to maintain this relationship? After you have had some to reflect on these questions, go back and revisit that paper you set aside earlier. See what you can do to transform each statement into something positive about this person. Consider how this person has affected  your life in a positive way. What qualities does this person have that you appreciate? If you look hard enough you can find at least one thing, even if he or she is simply a catalyst on your transformation to becoming more resilient. 

emotion icon

Think about this statement: It takes less effort to pull someone down than to pull someone up. So, how can you strengthen your resolve? How about bringing others up to your level instead of allowing them to pull you down to their energy level. In that very moment when you are engaged in a situation, where you could potentially be brought into the negative energy, can you step outside yourself and the situation such that you can gain a new perspective? Can you see the bigger picture? Is it possible to rephrase your antagonist’s words into something positive? Believe it or not, you do have a choice to either give into negative emotions or positive ones.

There are many questions you can always ask yourself such as: What is the lesson in all of this? What is the positive side in this situation? Where is the opportunity in this situation? How can I bless it and move back to a place of equilibrium? What can I laugh about this situation in my life? And, who gets to control my emotions, me or others? You picked the former, right? Of course you did, because you know that you get to choose how you want to feel. Don’t let others take away your joy. Instead, be the joy for others. Be in control (of the Con-Troll).

Transitions

Transitions are those times in people’s lives when change occurs. A person moves from one time or event in his or her life to another. It can be a physical or spiritual change. Smooth and gradual transitions are easiest to a person’s being. Transitions are neutral in the sense that one can transition from a joyful existence to a negative one just as easily as one can transition from an existence of negative energy to one that is positive and joyful. In a sense, each person is in a form of transition as each person is physically aging from one moment to the next.

Besides aging, many also have emotional, spiritual and/or career transitions. How one chooses to feel during this transition is entirely up to that person. Transitions can be difficult if a person holds onto the past, whether it is regret or a longing to be who he or she once was. Letting go of the past is will ease the transition. Another harmonious way to handle a transition is to be completely present in the moment. What are you experiencing or feeling, right now? You can choose to see each present moment as a blessing and a gift.

Consider all those things that bring you joy or activities you would like to try. Do not hold back, indulge in those activities that you bring you joy or you believe you will bring you delight. These events in your life will ease all the hard transitions you are making in your life. Remember, each of us are in some form of transition. Everyone is in the flow of experiences. Embrace your transitions and let go of any negative feelings that seem attached to it.

The unknown factor, when one is in transition is the scariest. Fear arises when a person does not know who he or she will become or how he or she will end up. Consider this, you are in control of your feelings and you get to choose how to react or respond to each and every thing that is presented to you. How do you feel at this very moment?

What would you like your future to look like? It is good for a person to have a vision of what he or she would like to become. This will help a person create goals and strategies to get there; however, it is best to be open to all experiences as often life may give a person shortcut or an opportunity. So, let go of any limiting beliefs and keep your sights wide.

Another idea, is to be the person you want to become (mentally). If that person is a successful writer or artist, then take on that persona. There are many ways to get from here to there. There is no one correct path when a person is in transition. 

Also, consider your community, with whom do you spend time? Is the influence of your community aligned with your beliefs and values? What kind of connections have you made with others? How can they help you during your transition? What is your level of enthusiasm and zest for life? Are you in balance? What do you have right now that you are most grateful? Consider every aspect of your life and visualize everything in it that has been a blessing. Is there a way to build upon the blessings in your life to ease the transition in you are experiencing? Most of all, embrace your transitions. Transitions are a part of everyone’s life.

Balance

Have you ever felt off-balanced or out of sorts? Most people have. What does balance look like and how does one define balance? Balance is a state of equilibrium, where one is in a place of contentment. One can think of balance as being in a place where it is neither hot nor cold. It is warm and comfortable; it is purple, orange or green; it is maybe; it is something in between the extremes. Balance is about being in the middle. Visualize a circus performer balancing on a tight-rope and walking slowly and deliberately. That is one way of looking at balance.

How can balance be applied to one’s life or how can one get balance in his or her life? Awareness is the first step to achieving balance. Stop, look and reflect and see what might be causing the imbalance. An unexpected event can cause imbalance in one’s life, such as, a car accident or losing one’s job. How does one cope with life-altering events? Change your focus from the life-altering situation and look at the big picture. How?

The best way to change your focus and get back into balance is to ask a few questions: What is the lesson in all of this? What is the positive side in this situation? Where is the opportunity in this situation? How can I bless it and move back to a place of equilibrium? And, what can I laugh about this situation in my life? Andy Dooley has a fabulous you tube video that address how to feel good. Feeling good can equate to feeling balanced as long as one is feeling good when he or she is back in his or her routine and balanced again.

Seeing a negative situation from different perspectives can help one achieve balance. Talk to yourself as if you were looking at yourself as another person, in other words, try to be objective. Balance can be achieved when people address themselves with their given names. Self-dialogue could look something like this: (The person’s name is Joe or Mary.) “Hey, Joe/Mary, yes life is less than perfect right now, but look at the blessings in the situation… it is a blessing to meet talented people in a different field of expertise, it is a chance to learn something new, it is a blessing to see things differently; yes, it hurts right now, but now different choices and decisions can be made about the future…”

One can also achieve balance by sitting in quiet, which means take time to sit alone in silence and simply breathe slowly. Focus on the breathing. If one needs more centering and focus, then one can pray or meditate. A person can pray for balance or simply state over and over in his or her mind: “I am in balance” or ” I have balance” or “I am balance.” Ambient music or sounds of nature in the background may help to create an environment conducive to prayer and meditation. Using aromatherapy is also a great way to create a tranquil environment.

When one is in a state of overwhelm there are three things he or she can do to get balance again. First of all, one can make small movements toward the source of the overwhelm like needing to lose 50 pounds or putting together a major business proposal.  A person can take little steps; it is movement, albeit small, that will ultimately get a person to his or her big goal. These mini-goals could be like letting go of one to two pounds a week or tackling the business proposal in chunks (such as researching it or writing it in fifteen minute bites).

The second thing one can do is not get hung up on perfectly moving toward his or her major goal. It is still a movement toward his or her goal. When one is moving toward a weight loss goal, he or she need not get caught up in the minutia of having to follow a weight loss plan perfectly. If one had a lapse of judgment for a snack or meal, this does not have to sabotage the efforts one has already put into his or her weight loss progress. An individual can simply take ownership of that one mishap and make the next decision a better one. In creating a business proposal, writing something is better than writing nothing at all. One can always edit his or her work after the proposal is completed.

The third thing one can do is to create a support system or delegate some of the responsibility of that overwhelming goal. With a business proposal, one can seek others to do the research so he or she can work on the writing. With weight loss goals, one can seek a support system with others who also wish to lose weight. They can hold each other accountable, dialogue about the challenges they have had, and celebrate the small and large victories.

One of the best things an individual can do to get from a place of imbalance to balance is to do something totally different. If one is traditionally very independent and almost never communicates his or her challenges to others, then, perhaps it is due time for this person to seek guidance from an expert or counselor. If one continues to do what he or she have always done, then he or she will continue to get what he or she have always gotten (a quote adopted from Anthony Robbins and edited by Dr. Angela Kowitz Orobko). Here is an amusing thought that Albert Einstein shared, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Does this suggest many people are insane? Perhaps. 

Consider this, how can people shift their thoughts and emotions toward balance? How does it feel?

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