a tickle of words to create smiles

Posts tagged ‘Bully’

Words Have POWER!

AKO-BeGentle

In the words of Andrew Jackson, “I will speak ill of no one, and speak all the good I know of everybody.”

Andrew Jackson knew the power of words, as did many great people in our history. Currently, more and more people are aware of the power of words. October 1st kicks off National Bullying Prevention Month, in which PACER – Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights has led the way ((http://www.pacer.org/bullying/nbpm/).

I am very passionate about overcoming bullying. Bullying is no longer about the big kid stealing the little kid’s lunch money. It is so much more involved and dynamic; furthermore, with the help of technology has crept into the realm of cyberspace aka cyberbullying.

Words indeed become quite powerful. The digital age makes it so very easy. It is my hope that we can use words to bring more love and kindness into our immediate environments. Let us use our power of words to heal, not hurt. Let us serve as an example to those who do not know any better, namely our children. Spread news that is good. Share words that is helpful. Let us put into practice T-H-I-N-K:

AKO-THINKWe also need to remember to be gentle with our own selves. I know I have bullied myself at times when I am feeling upset or sad, especially when I have felt like I could have done better, looked better, be better, etc. I need to remember that I am perfectly imperfect and wonderful just as I am. I do not need to berate myself with words, when I have made a mistake. I will ultimately grow and develop from the mistake, as long as I learn from it. Each of our experiences: good or bad, success or failure, happy or sad, will help us. Reflect and learn is a positive way to use these events in our lives. Remember, words have power!

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Take a Stand

I have found that when I have strong convictions for certain issues like addressing negative behaviors and bullying with respect and kindness, my life has direction, purpose and meaning. I am happy. I am not floundering around seeking what is not in my heart.

Some people, who are uncertain where they stand with life issues will vacillate, which often leads to dissatisfaction, unhappiness and disappointment. Fulfilled lives start with a strong belief and/or a passion for something, which gives you direction. Consider your own heart, your beliefs and your passions. What excites you? Let this lead your actions and you will find satisfaction and joy.

If overcoming bullying is your passion, too, then please seek me, Dr. Angi at HEARTS T HAT CARE (www.heartsthatcare.net).

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Get Involved, Use Loving Words, Be Kind…

When I see injustice, bullying, negative behaviors, I try to get involved, use loving words and behave kindly in the situation. If I don’t get involved, then I am contributing to the victimization of another sentient being. That would be UNACCEPTABLE! If I am being bullied, I will NOT allow the words to hurt me! Nor, will I lash back with unkindness. When others are unkind to me I either ignore it and pretend I did not hear it; or, I will smile, because I know the bullying behavior is the other person’s issue, not mine. Their current negative state of mind does not have to affect me. I know in my heart that they are better than that.

I have survived bullying much of my life especially in school! It has actually made be more resilient, which I contribute to my loving family. Yes, I have had thoughts in my youth of not wanting to go on in order to avoid the hurt; but, I had such a wonderful support system at home and outside of school with community theater and the performing arts, I had no time to let the hurt fester.

Yes, I wanted so much to be loved and accepted at school. I wanted a boyfriend. I felt awkward and left out at times, but I had so many extracurricular activities and academic endeavors to keep me occupied. I was involved in so much. As an adult, I see that these hurtful experiences were not unique to me. Many of my peers had similar bullying situations in their lives; furthermore, these experiences gave me insight and empathy for others.

Should we condemn bullies. No! We can only disallow the behavior of bullying. Many bullies were bullied! To end bullying, we need to create a loving and kind community, school, and environment that does not support negativity.We need to bring attention to the positive in our lives and environment.

Each of us need to be a role model and set the tone. We need to act kindly and loving to one another. We need to engage others with love and compassion whenever possible. This means, blessing drivers who cut you off in traffic, engaging every person with a smile and kindness even when we have a complaint.

Even in our own homes, when watching television especially if we have children in our households, we need to avoid negative comments; and not call a commentator, a newscaster, a political candidate anything negative aloud. Remember the walls have ears. If we cannot say something positive, constructive or helpful, we need not say anything at all.

When I am in a lower emotional state, this can be hard for me. I know the more I deliberately practice love, kindness and compassion, the easier it is for me to be love for others. I believe we all can work together to make our world more loving and positive; and, the more I stay positive, the more positive I find in the world. Let us all, get INVOLVED, use LOVING WORDS, and be KIND; I have FAITH in you! May love and kindness fill your heart at this moment and inspire you to inspire others.

 

 

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Last Day of September….Autumn Days and Thoughts.

I cannot believe we are already in October, a great month for Harvest and Halloween Events. School-aged children are in the swing of their studies. Football is on a roll. The temperatures are dropping and the leaves are changing colors and falling.

The hottest topics…political campaigning and bullying. Funny how both are in the same arena. For once, I would love to see our candidates take the high road and be role models, especially for our children. The political ad campaigns I have seen are more often than not, mean-spirited. May the best man win through accomplishments, not because one candidate had better smears than the other.

On the flip side, what started out as a bullying prank in West Branch, Michigan to a wonderful teenage girl named Whitney Kropp has turned out to be a positive and memorable time for her. You can read the full feature here: Town Turns Tables on School Prank. I will keep you posted as I learn more.

I feel by talking about things such as bullying and smear campaigns, we can spread awareness. Through awareness comes brainstorming solutions and later positive action steps, like in Michigan. Let us each do what we can to promote a more positive and loving world by being more positive and kind in our own communities. What will you do in October?

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Gifts of Love Update 13

Today I spent much of the day painting more Gifts of Love. I will share those images tomorrow. More importantly I had the opportunity to give “Gift of Love #9” to a dear friend who I learned is moving. What is amazing about this is I did not know she was moving until after I gave her the gift. My heart (as inspired by God) urged me to give her one. 

The story behind this gift presentation is as follows. Earlier this week I reconnected with some friends from a church in which I was a regular member years ago. This transpired during a special service that honored the recent death of the founding reverend pastor of that church. I was close to this pastor and it was a bittersweet event. I carried a heavy heart, but he wanted us to celebrate his passing. After this special service, many of the regular members of the church wished me to return to the parish, especially one of my dearer friends.

So, my husband and I planned and went to this evening’s church service. I felt compelled to give my one dear friend a Gift of Love. She was absolutely delighted. This is what I love about her, she always values and appreciates everything and everyone! This is when I learned that she and her husband are moving at the end of this month. I am both sad and happy about this. I will miss her and her husband; but, she will be closer to her children and grandchildren. The Gift of Love was perfect! 

I also was given the opportunity to speak about my Gift of Love campaign and the importance of addressing bullying. I felt so much support from my peers at this church as we discussed the timeliness of my campaign and the importance of addressing bullying… empowering and equipping parents and children with the emotional tools they need to survive bullying.

I truly feel that I have been Divinely led tonight, which has again renewed my already profound faith in Jesus Christ. This is what I need to be doing; this is my purpose and calling. I have been chosen to be an advocate and inspiration of love and kindness as the way to address bullying and negativity to create positive changes in my community and in our world.

My friendly challenge to you is to find a way to spread love and kindness this weekend, not just to those who you feel deserve it; but, see if you can be especially nice to those who may be gruff, persnickety, prickly or even a bully. 

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Determination

Determination is when inspiration, motivation and action come together. It is the fuel that feeds our passion. I am ready to do what I need to do to create a more loving and kinder world. It may be one blog at a time, one heart at a time, and one Gift of Love at a time; but, I am determined to keep going and make things happen. My heart breaks each time I learn that another person has committed suicide because he or she could no longer take the bullying! CLICK HERE  for the recent story on the seventh grade girl who recently took her life. 

I am determined to change that. VICTIMS no more!!! I want to create SURVIVORS of bullying. I want to create POSITIVE LEARNING and BUSINESS ENVIRONMENTS, where KIND and LOVING words and actions are COMMONLY PRACTICED and not the exception. Let me ask each of you this, when you are out and about your communities and at work, do you become absorbed in your business? Do you become so focused that you lose site that there are others around you? 

I am not saying that is bad nor am I passing judgment. I just want to make everyone aware how we can affect others in a positive way with very little effort. Encourage our youth by being role models for them. Let us unplug from our smart phones when around people whenever it is possible. Make eye contact and smile with others as much as you can. Make a point to greet others when around other people.

Try to value everyone with whom you interact at the grocery store, gasoline station, at work, at play and wherever you have an opportunity to make connections (especially when you are out and about with your children). It does not take much to make others feel valued. A little love truly goes a long way. And, children and teenagers pick up on more than we are aware as they really do watch the adults in their lives.  

How you interact with others is a visual cue to the children in your life. Our children learn what is appropriate and what is inappropriate by how you act and react with others. Take for instance how you interact in traffic situations when you are in a rush to get somewhere, are you patient or impatient with the slower traffic ahead of you? Are you on your mobile phone? 

Most likely I am blogging to the choir; but, I know I am even guilty at times of not being completely present. It is easy to get so focused in what we are doing that we ignore what is going on around us; and, in some instances this type of focus is quite appropriate. I am determined to do more and get my anti-bullying/kindness-promoting programming out into the our world. This is my passion.

You can do your part simply by taking baby steps to smile more and spread around a little more love (even if you feel it is undeserved).  Do we honestly deserve the love we have been given by Jesus Christ? Every one of us fall short, but, God is Love. And Love does not pass judgement. Let us all live a life in determination, a determination to create more positive experiences. It truly is our choice. Let’s do it! 

I will be adding more content and programs to my organization’s website, Hearts That Care, this month, so please check back often. 

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