Grateful for Forgiveness (TY-28)

 

Bad moments do not make you a bad person. ~ Dr. Angi

We all have our “moments”, but those moments do not make us bad people. Each of us have our own unique sensitivities and coping skills. Another’s actions may or may not evoke a reaction from me; but, it would evoke a reaction from someone else.  That reaction does not make that person bad. It is only when he or she is not sorry for the reaction or bad moment that would taint his or her character.

Empower your loved ones. Give them the opportunity to forgive you and to need them. People feel valued and appreciated when you consider their emotions, ask for forgiveness and/or help. Our vulnerabilities such as bad moments make us human; furthermore, love yourself enough to forgive yourself. We cannot go on forever holding onto the bad moments in our lives. Why relive them? It is better to move forward and do better next time. How we choose to act after our bad moments is what really counts.

I am deeply grateful for forgiveness. It empowers me to let go of hurts, fears and negativity, whether I am forgiving others, myself or giving others the opportunity to forgive me. A little compassion to ourselves and others goes a long we toward creating peace, harmony and joy. Lots of positive actions and feelings do come from letting go of the hurts and negativity. Forgiveness is key to happiness, which is a very good reason to appreciate it. Let go of the hurt and the shame. Forgive others and yourself.

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Patience

 

Patience is a quality of heart that can be greatly enhanced with deliberate practice. ~ Dr. Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

Patience is a gift of time. It is a state of allowing yourself and others to take their time, to be who they are and to wait. It is a very kind and loving action, but it is not easy. It takes practice.

It is said patience is a virtue and in the Bible there is a verse that starts with: Love is patient… (“Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4–8a)). Could it be said that patience is a form of love (as is kindness)? I believe it is. Patience may not always be the easiest to deliver; but, it is readily available in our hearts to give when we deliberately think about it and practice it.

Patience is definitely a quality of the heart. The more we practice patience, the more enriched we become as human beings.

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Good for Something

To simply be good and do the right thing is respectable and adequate; however, to truly be good for a cause and for a purpose would be noble and magnanimous. Consider at this very moment, for what do you truly live your life. Do you live for love and kindness; do you live for family and honor; do you live for friendship; do you live for democracy; or do you live for all of these things and more? Or, do you simply obey the rules and conform to society? I invite you to think about what truly inspires you to live as you begin each day of your life.

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Nurture…our hearts and our friendships with joy and love.

Nurture…feed, protect, support, encourage…our hearts and our friendships with joy and love. ~ Dr. Angela Kowitz Orobko

I define nurture in this passage as: to feed and protect; to support and encourage; foster.  For our own well-being and that of the world it is important to nurture our friendships as well as our own hearts. I believe I can do both, nurture my heart and my friendships, at the same time.  Spending time with friends, socializing, eating, drinking and being merry supports and encourages love and joy in our hearts.

The hearts of our friends as well as our own hearts are being nurtured as we spend time together and simply being in the moment with each other by giving our undivided attentions to each other.  Every moment we have is a blessing that should be fully appreciated.  Sharing these precious moments with others is a great way to appreciate those moments and nurture our own hearts as well as the hearts of our friends.  Friendship is a form of love that deserves to be nurtured.

I will nurture my heart by feeding it joy and protecting it from negative feelings. I will support and encourage my heart with only those activities that I take delight. I will foster happiness in my life. This will nurture me! By nurturing me, I can nurture my friends and the world.  Self-care is so important. It is vital that we do not neglect ourselves. How are we able to take care of others when we are not taking care of ourselves? By NURTURING, feeding, protecting, supporting, encouraging, our hearts and our friendships with joy and love.

 

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Bad Moments

Bad moments do not make you a bad person. ~ Dr. Angela Kowitz Orobko

We all have our “moments”, but those moments do not make us bad people. Each of us have our own unique sensitivities and coping skills. Another’s actions may or may not evoke a reaction from me; but, it would evoke a reaction from someone else.  That reaction does not make that person bad. It is only when he or she is not sorry for the reaction or bad moment that would taint his or her character.

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Loving Yourself to Love the World

How many times have we called ourselves a dork, a bonehead, fat, ugly, stupid?  We are bullying ourselves; and, this hurts our heart just as much as, if not more, if someone else did it.  It is time we love and practice exquisite care of ourselves. Go to a mirror, face yourself, and look yourself right in the eyes. Verbalize how wonderful you are . Say it with meaning and conviction. Point out how loving and caring you are. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle to your soul and love your very essence.

Embrace your beautiful life as if today is your last day to live; then glorify each moment.  Experience every little thing you do with all your senses.  Make your bath a cleansing ritual that erases all the negativity and let the water positively cleanse your heart and soul.  Feel the warmth of the water playing on your skin as it splashes down.  Smell the fragrance of the soap as it bubbles around you.  Observe the steam misting around you. 

During mealtime, as you are eating visualize each bite of food nourishing each cell of your body.  Savor each flavor as it dances on your tongue.  Take great delight in every little thing that you do.  Learn to appreciate and value everything that is you and everything that you do in your daily life.  As we start taking exquisite care of ourselves, we become our own best friend.

It is when we can be our own best friend that we can be friends to others, love others and love the world. If we are empty vessel, how can we love others? Taking care of our needs, not just our physical needs, but also our emotional and spiritual needs allows us to be whole and complete for others. As a we approach and connect with other people, we can do so without question or fear or insecurities. We can be completely present for our family,  friends and peers; furthermore, we can be a source of love and light because our spiritual self is whole.

Today, I completed more Gifts of Love. We are halfway there! Yes, 50 Gifts of Love are completed! I will be able to photograph them tomorrow to share with you. The winner of last week’s drawing for a Gift of Love is wfedan. Congratulations! Remember, the only thing you need to do to be included in the drawing for a Gift of Love, is to comment on my blog anytime during the week. The more you comment, the better your chances to win. If you do not wish to be included in the drawing, just add “omit me” after your comment. I do love feedback. It is the best way for me to learn, develop and evolve as a writer and artist. Thank you all so much for all of your support. I am so very grateful!!! Together we can make positive changes in this world. 

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Eros Love

Eros love is that passionate love most people identify with when they utter, “I love you,” where one implies romance and sexual attraction. Today is St. Valentine’s Day in which one celebrates romantic or eros love with his or her partner through the exchange of chocolates, flowers, cards and other amorous gifts. Children traditionally exchange cute Valentine’s Day cards and penny candy, too, to express friendship and fondness for each other. Eros is the name of the Greek god of love (in ancient Rome the god of love was Cupid, who is the modern day mascot of St. Valentine’s Day).

Eros love is that stage of love where one’s heart goes all a flutter. A person, who is in this state of love, can hardly think of anything or anyone else except that other person being showered with these affections, attentions and desires. It is quite an intoxicating state in which to be where one temporarily loses grounding of his or herself. Many have described eros love as being “in-love”, where one feels like he or she is floating in the air like a balloon, weightless and carefree.

At some point, if there is no other love to ground the relationship such as philias love and agape love, the relationship is potentially doomed for failure once the novelty of it fades. How does one make the transition from eros love to a love that can stand the test of time? Consider who you are as a person. Do you love yourself and who you are? Do you love how you interact with your love interest in relation to your world? Do you have some common interests and values to ground your relationship? Do you know how to listen and truly communicate with each other?

Affirmative answers to all these questions are key take a relationship from eros love to other more profound forms of love that will sustain the relationship over time and experiences. Of all these, the most important part of being in any interpersonal relationship, romantic or otherwise, is to be in-love with yourself first. Love yourself as others would love you. Not in a narcissistic way, but in the form of self-care and self-nurturing. Be your own best friend and lover.

Philia Love

 

Love comes in many forms as Agape is unconditional love in the Greek language; the love of friends, brothers, and sisters is a type of non-sexual affection the Greeks have designated as Philia or Phileo. Most people know of the city of Philadelphia; however, some do not know that Philadelphia is a compound Greek word: Philos, which means loving and Adelphos, which means brother. This is why Philadelphia is also known as the city of brotherly love. (This should not come as a surprise to most as U.S. Government is based on Ancient Greek politics; Democracy has its formal origins in Ancient Greece.)

The affection and love people feel towards their friends and family is Philia love. Philia love is what most people crave from each other; it is that wish to be accepted, connected and loved by their peers. Philia love is similar to Agape love, but Philia love is not necessarily unconditional love nor is it spiritual love. It is love of family and friends because of connectivity and like interests. Philia love is that mutual love that bounds friends and family. Agape love is a pure love where that person does not need to be loved in return. It should also be mentioned that there is also Storge love which is similar to both Philia love and Agape love. Storge love is that bond between mother and child, which bounds them together.

Philia is great place to be in when moving toward Agape love. People who are capable of loving people because they have like interests as a connection can begin to love people with whom they are not connected simply by becoming aware that each person has value and need not be judged. People who are open to different ways of thinking and different cultures will be able to expand his or her Philia love to a wider community of people and eventually to the global community. It is global acceptance of people, which will lead to Agape love. People who can consider being open to Philia love to others outside their circle of friends will find their lives profoundly enriched by indescribable experiences. 

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Friendship

Interacting with friends today reminded me of the importance of friendship and camaraderie. Relationships between people are to be valued. Friendships and camaraderie fills my heart with joy and love. I love interacting with people especially those who reciprocate. Friendship can be face-to-face or on-line. The feelings are the same (or at least for me). Although, I have to admit, face-to-face interactions do so much to nurture an interpersonal relationship such as friendship and camaraderie.

Friendship to me is the sharing of time and love with others; and others sharing their love and time with me. Friendship is interacting with others such that positive feelings are experienced by all parties involved. Wikipedia defines friendship as a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Webster defines friendship as the state of being friends; it is the quality or state of being friends. Okay, that was helpful.

How would one describe a friend, friendship and friendliness (friendly) to a child. Friends are 2 or more people of any age who get along and play together. They support and nurture each other. Sometimes friends cry on each other’s shoulders. Friends do many activities together like talk on the phone, visit together, eat together, exercise together, basically have fun and a good time together. Togetherness is key. Often friends have common backgrounds and have similar interests; but, it is not a prerequisite. Friends may admire the differences in each other.

You may be great at sports and very athletic and your friend may be great at crafting items and planning great parties. Friends can lean on each and learn from each other. Friends often know the right thing to say or do when you are down. Friends generally are good listeners. Occasionally a friend might say the wrong thing (open mouth, insert foot); however, friends are quick to forgive each other. Most of all, your friend cares and loves you. Friendship is a form of love we have for our fellow human beings that is closer association than just recognizing a face. Close friends know each other’s hearts and deeply care about your entire being.

A friend is one that is attached to another by affection or esteem. A friend is a favored companion. Friendship, amity, benevolence, brotherhood, charity, cordiality, fellowship, goodwill, kindliness, kinship, neighborliness are all related words. How can one be a friend? First of all, I believe you need to be open and loving. You need to be able and willing to give of yourself completely to another in the way of time and support. You need to be sincere and genuine with yourself and others. Honesty, trust and faith play a role in friendship. One needs to be truthful!

I believe (most) dogs are great model for demonstrating friendship with their innate friendliness and loyalty. Loyalty is a good quality among friends. Friendship is important between husband and wife / boyfriend and girlfriends. Our friends can define who we are. Birds of a feather, flock together. Your best of friends are there when you are in need. (A friend in need is a friend indeed.)  You may also have fair-weather friends who are there only when things are going well in your life.

I believe friendship deeply depends on what you put into it. We are all connected, so why should we not all be friends? Being nice to one another costs nothing; but, the benefits are fabulous that start with our own hearts. I believe it keeps us positive and uplifted. Love and kindness (and friendship) keeps us in higher energy. When I think about others first, it brings joy to my heart, even more so during those times when I have let go of expecting something in return. I know I am able to be there for my friends and that is all that matters to me. This brings me joy and happiness.