a tickle of words to create smiles

Posts tagged ‘Relationships’

Love in the Face of Tragedy


In the face of the recent tragedy, the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut that took the lives of 27 people,  let us embrace each other and be love. Let our hearts fill with compassion for those directly affected today as it has touched each of us. I know I have experienced disbelief, shed a few tears and questioned, “why?’ But, this will not bring our loved ones back to their living state.

Love, positive thoughts and prayers are the only things that will  heal the wounds of today. Anger and sorrow will not. May God bless and comfort anyone who is experiencing anger and sorrow. May we all have a better understanding of each other and appreciate our fellow humankind a bit more. Let this tragedy bring us closer. Let us stem from our very being as pure love and send it out to those are deeply hurt today.

Not My Issue!

AKO-NotMyIssueYesterday I was informed that “truly loving other people means understanding who they are and treating them the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you think they should be treated.” Then, I was given no opportunity to respond, which initially stung my heart, but I now choose not to take no ownership of that person’s feelings. Those thoughts, feelings and actions belong only to those who generated them in the first place. They do not belong to me; furthermore, I hold no ill-will against this person, who needs more compassion than he or she will ever understand at this point from anyone willing to give it.

I am going to chew on this statement and digest it a bit, “Truly loving other people means understanding who they are and treating them the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you think they should be treated.” I do not agree with this statement, as I believe that people should be treated as you wish to be treated (not THEY).

I cannot presume how another wants to be treated. I do not read minds, especially with online communications. At least face-to-face, you can read another’s expression; and, over the phone you can hear inflections in their voices. How am I suppose to know how anyone wants to be treated unless one directly tells me? Which brings up a very good point, tell people how you wish to be treated. Never assume they know.

Unfailingly, I follow the Golden Rule. I treat others how I wish to be treated. In fact, I try to take it a step further and follow in the footsteps of my Lord, Jesus Christ, and be love and compassion for others. I take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. Those are the only things that belong to me. How others wish to feel, act or react is their own business. I can only be loving, kind and compassionate for others. That is how I would wish to be treated… with love, kindness and compassion.

When someone shares or vents online about an issue in their life, it is usually a call for attention and help. If they did not want compassion, then why air your laundry. When I was feeling grievous this weekend, I wrote about it and reached out to friends both offline and online.

In return, I got love and compassion, which I openly received from many people including some people I have never met. My heart was filled with everyone’s love; and, I am deeply grateful. My wish is to be there for others. To be love and express kindness and compassion to everyone, whether they want it or not. That is their business and their issue. I can only do my part to be a source of comfort and what I believe a friend is.

I make no apologies for being a loving, kind and compassionate person. I wish only to understand and be respectful. I do not have to agree with you. I only need to love and respect you. Comments and feedback are appreciated.




Share Your Ups and Downs


Share joy and sorrow alike. ~ Duke Shanxiang, Zhou Dynasty

People want to be a shoulder for you to cry on when you have sorrow, just as much as they wish to share in your joys. Do not feel you are a burden to others when you have trying times in your life. Let others lift you up. Share your joy and sorrow alike.



Follow through in everything you do. Dependability is key to integrity!
~ Dr. Angela K. Orobko

When we set our intentions and make a promise to ourselves and/or to others, it is important to follow through. Be honest and be dependable! This builds love, trust and integrity…even with ourselves. It feels great when we follow through on promises we make to ourselves.

On the flip side, if feels crummy when we do not…like when we promise ourselves that we are going to get in 20 minutes of exercise right after work; and, then we do not follow through. Not only did we disappoint ourselves, but now we did not give our bodies the extra boost we would have gotten from the exercise. That is a double whammy disappointment. However, if we did follow through on that promise, it feels amazing. It really is a self-esteem and positive energy builder.

Reflect on all those times when you said to yourself, ” I am going to….” and you followed through on that intention. You did it! Ta-dah! And, it feels great! When we treat ourselves with the same integrity that we give others, it generates positive energy and love. We can then pass forward and share that positive energy and love with others. That is such a winning outcome!

Another part of integrity is honesty. A person with integrity will act honestly even when no one is watching. All those small acts where you could act dishonestly, a person with integrity does not, such as “borrowing” a dollar from your spouse, children or parents without first getting permission; or, perhaps it is telling a little lie. Is there really such thing as a little lie?

When we lie to others, we are also lying to ourselves. Lies hurt others and our own selves. Furthermore, when we “get away” with small things, it makes us very bold and brazen. Next time we will borrow five dollars without asking or tell an even bigger lie. Dishonesty can get easier and easier, but pretty soon it will get out of hand. Eventually, it hurts (at the very least) our reputations. That is a path I do not wish to go down.

In the long run, honesty is the best policy. It builds trust, dependability and integrity. When we do the right thing and follow through in everything we do, then we build positive relationships with others and with ourselves. What does integrity mean to you?

Time to Bond…


I had the most wonderful couple of days! I got to spend time with two phenomenal women, Mikell and Deborah. Mikell opened up her home to me as we shared our hearts. Deborah joined us the next night for dinner, when we spent time together and really got to know each other on a deeper level.

The whole experience reminded me the importance of developing deep and meaningful bonds. Two years ago, we became acquainted via an on-line life coach certification program with thirty other wonderful women. Mikell, Deborah, Carrie and I were part of a cohort of  four, in which we discussed lessons, completed a couple of team  projects, and supported each other. (Carrie was not able to join us this time; however, I am certain she will next time.)

Mikell, Deborah and I were able to really connect at a profound, meaningful level when we spent time face-to-face. The interpersonal relationship we had established with each other two years ago was greatly enhanced, as we exchanged and expressed stories of ourselves and our interests openly, honestly and with admiration for each other. It was powerful! I wish we had more time together. I am certain we will manifest more opportunities to get together. The past couple of days allowed me to appreciate and realize the value of time and energy given to develop and strengthen the bonds with others in our lives. It is vital to share time and energy in order to nurture interpersonal relationships. How have you spent your time and energy these past couple of days?

Gift Of Love Update

In the hands of over thirty individuals, a Gift Of Love has been delivered. These gifts are most likely touching hearts  more profoundly than I will ever know. Back on April 1, 2012 I was inspired by God to create 100 hand-painted paper lunch bags to illustrate the gift of love; and, then share them with others. Some went to friends, a few to family members, but most of them are going to acquaintances and people I have just met just because our paths crossed at that moment in time, which has been my favorite experience.

This week I plan to give out twenty more Gifts of Love, which will bring the total just past fifty bags. Each lunch bag is a work of art and love created with a blend of crafters (liquid) and artist (heavy-bodied) quality acrylic paint. Each Gift of Love is different, but theme of love and hearts are on each one. And, each image tells a story.

Gift of Love #34 has footprints and hearts on it. It tells the story of how love is a journey of the heart that needs to be made authentically without covering up who you are. When we present ourselves as someone we are not, we set up our relationships for failure. It is only when we can bear our heart and soul to others that we are able to attract those who love us for who we truly are creating a strong and profound bond. How are you presenting yourself to others?

Are you trying to impress others as someone you are not or have you permitted yourself to be genuine and true, letting go of all expectations? Are you able to let go of any concern of how others might think of you? It is not easy, but once you can, you will feel uplifted and joy will fill your heart. The only person  you need to please and delight is yourself.

Life, Vision…ACTION: Are you the writer, director and producer of your life?

My friend, Susan Guild posed this question to me over the weekend, “Are you the writer, director and producer of your life?” This is a very provocative question. As I apply this question to my own life, I see that yes, that I have had a hand in my own life. I am writing my life story; I am directing my life and I am producing my life. I also see, that I cannot live my life without love and support of God, my family, friends, colleagues and community.

That being said, I am empowered to choose how I want to live my life, how I want to feel and what I want to do. I get to choose how I will react and not react. I get to choose how I will act and behave; furthermore, God gave me this gift of choice.

With each day I am given, I get to decide how I will live my day. I choose to live it with love and gratitude in my heart. Some days are easier than others; and, I rejoice that each day is different. As the writer of my life, I get to outline my time and direct it to how I wish to spend my day. I do better when I have a visual tool; so, I keep a calendar handy and I create a concept map. Tomorrow I will share my concept map with you. So, are you the writer, director and producer of your life?



My sister took this phenomenal picture yesterday morning. It is a moth! It was on her back porch screen and it clearly has smiles on it! I see at least two of them, do you?

Smiles, to me, are an outwardly expression of the love and kindness in our hearts. This moth is wearing its smiles and it goes to show you that smiles are all around us. Some smiles are more obvious and direct than others. We only need to be receptive. Can you feel the smile on my face as I you read what I wrote?  I hope so! Smile, it is good for your heart, your soul and your well-being. 🙂

Bless the Mess


I love other people’s mess because it makes me look neater! 
~ Dr. Angela Kowitz Orobko

My sister just complained about a co-worker who is messy; and, how it irritated her. In reality she should be grateful because her co-worker’s mess can only make my sister appear that much better! If it were not for other people’s messes in the world, how would me learn tolerance (and look better in comparison, LOL).

Mess is good. It provides niches for many roles in society. Mess creates a need for many jobs and professions. And, it appears that a mess for one, may not be a mess for another. Mess is in the eye of the beholder.

I am thinking that this brings a whole new look at the expression, “Don’t MESS with me.” I am going to look at mess with a new eye. You may want to consider doing the same. I am not saying that you need to clean up other people’s messes; what I am saying is….look at the lesson from the mess. What is the wisdom in the mess? Can you laugh at the mess? Finding the positive in the mess would bring us that much closer to having a more loving society, right? Bless the mess.


A Great Heartfelt Day

I am keeping this article short today. I will elaborate more tomorrow. Today was a GREAT, HEARTFELT day! My family had an estate/yard sale today. This took teamwork! This took patience! And, this took lots of love!

At the end of it all if felt great to do something as a family. I got to get to know neighbors and a schoolmate a bit better; and, I got to meet new people! It was awesome! It really wasn’t about making a bit of money; it was more about giving your heart to others, sharing time and stories. I feel richer than I have felt in a long time! I love the community I live in and deeply love my family for making our day successful on so many levels!

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